Life is a funny thing. You can try to plan for things and fight for what you want, but you could end up somewhere totally off the chart from what you expected. There's nothing wrong with planning and hoping, but we are all going to have to be okay with the fact that we may end up somewhere totally different, because (guess what?) we CANNOT control everything... no matter how hard some of us try.
As many of you know, I'm at a pretty pivotal part of my life, whether I like it or not. Up until last summer, I've been distracted by school situations. I guess that's a decent way to put it, since I was never really trapped by school - I could've left whenever I wanted and just not gotten that piece of paper called a "degree." But I was there, learning and loving it. I had those goals and, while an artists work is never done, I at least achieved the goal of getting the degree. So, now I'm in that post-grad stage of, "...now what?" So, I guess it makes sense, then, that I'm feeling particularly introspective at this point.
Sadly, the GIANT part of me that wants to throw caution to the wind and be adventurous has been difficult to follow through on. Sadly, or maybe for the good... I don't know. I don't want to end up on my ass, but I don't want to never risk anything either. I think moving here was definitely an amazing first step, I just don't yet know what to do next.
In the meantime, I'm just trying to enjoy life as much as possible... like all the things I missed out on when I was too busy with school to focus on them; like my friends and family... being able to sit in a cafe on my day off and not be tormented with homework hanging over my head... reading the books and seeing the movies that I've been wanting to for so long. Yeah, I'm definitely not a person that is tortured by free time; I'm the type that really, truly enjoys it, for better or worse.
Sometimes I wish I did have my next step figured out... but then I remember how pointless that would be. How no matter what we plan on, life is unpredictable, so why not enjoy that? I don't mean to sit back and wait for something to happen to you, I just mean... what's the point in stressing out over it all? I don't see one. So, even though it's truly tough for me to live in the present rather than constantly stress over the future, that's exactly what I plan on doing for the foreseeable future. So sue me. :)
Hope I can hold onto this broadly positive attitude when life gets all crazy.
As many of you know, I'm at a pretty pivotal part of my life, whether I like it or not. Up until last summer, I've been distracted by school situations. I guess that's a decent way to put it, since I was never really trapped by school - I could've left whenever I wanted and just not gotten that piece of paper called a "degree." But I was there, learning and loving it. I had those goals and, while an artists work is never done, I at least achieved the goal of getting the degree. So, now I'm in that post-grad stage of, "...now what?" So, I guess it makes sense, then, that I'm feeling particularly introspective at this point.
Sadly, the GIANT part of me that wants to throw caution to the wind and be adventurous has been difficult to follow through on. Sadly, or maybe for the good... I don't know. I don't want to end up on my ass, but I don't want to never risk anything either. I think moving here was definitely an amazing first step, I just don't yet know what to do next.
In the meantime, I'm just trying to enjoy life as much as possible... like all the things I missed out on when I was too busy with school to focus on them; like my friends and family... being able to sit in a cafe on my day off and not be tormented with homework hanging over my head... reading the books and seeing the movies that I've been wanting to for so long. Yeah, I'm definitely not a person that is tortured by free time; I'm the type that really, truly enjoys it, for better or worse.
Sometimes I wish I did have my next step figured out... but then I remember how pointless that would be. How no matter what we plan on, life is unpredictable, so why not enjoy that? I don't mean to sit back and wait for something to happen to you, I just mean... what's the point in stressing out over it all? I don't see one. So, even though it's truly tough for me to live in the present rather than constantly stress over the future, that's exactly what I plan on doing for the foreseeable future. So sue me. :)
Hope I can hold onto this broadly positive attitude when life gets all crazy.
