I'm finally about to graduate, assuming I pass all my classes, of course. My Senior Voice Recital is this Sunday. For those of you whom that means absolutely nothing... that's where I stand on a stage with nothing but a piano and accompanist and sing in 5 different languages for an hour... in heals... in front of everyone who gives a damn about me. Yeah... no pressure. This is on top of my finals, a paper, 2 presentations, a piano jury, a 2 night opera performance after a week full of rehearsals every night, and let's not forget about work.
I'm trying really hard not to worry. As someone told me today; "worry is the work of the devil." I'm doing my best not to give into that... but dear God, it's not easy. "What if's" plague my mind. I just have to stay calm and remember that no matter what happens, I will still be alive at the end of this... somehow. I think this is proof enough that God is amazing, because I sure as hell couldn't do all this on my own.
After I graduate... I have no idea what to do. I guess I'll figure that out later. It's half scary, half exciting... sometimes it's more like 80/20... or 20/80... I can't decide which. Doesn't matter though. Something's going to happen. I just hope and pray that that something is something really amazingly good... I really feel like I need something amazingly good to happen in my life right now. If things continue in this dreary way... well, I don't see much point or fun in that.
I'm trying to remember that I am ultimately in control. I am the one who'll decide where to go in life. So if a fall on my face, or actually succeed in whatever I end up shooting for, at least I'll know who to blame. :) God, give me strength (to be spontaneous and brave) and wisdom (to know where the hell to apply that bravery.)
I'm trying really hard not to worry. As someone told me today; "worry is the work of the devil." I'm doing my best not to give into that... but dear God, it's not easy. "What if's" plague my mind. I just have to stay calm and remember that no matter what happens, I will still be alive at the end of this... somehow. I think this is proof enough that God is amazing, because I sure as hell couldn't do all this on my own.
After I graduate... I have no idea what to do. I guess I'll figure that out later. It's half scary, half exciting... sometimes it's more like 80/20... or 20/80... I can't decide which. Doesn't matter though. Something's going to happen. I just hope and pray that that something is something really amazingly good... I really feel like I need something amazingly good to happen in my life right now. If things continue in this dreary way... well, I don't see much point or fun in that.
I'm trying to remember that I am ultimately in control. I am the one who'll decide where to go in life. So if a fall on my face, or actually succeed in whatever I end up shooting for, at least I'll know who to blame. :) God, give me strength (to be spontaneous and brave) and wisdom (to know where the hell to apply that bravery.)
