That's what my good friend said to me today, and she hit the nail on the head, I'm afraid. I do have an excuse for everything. I've been letting life get me down. I feel like crap, I look like crap, and I have been making excuse after excuse for it. They're accurate excuses. I've been telling them to myself, as well as to other people when they accuse me of being bitchy or whatever.
"I need to get on a regular sleeping schedule, but I get up early all week and stay up late for work on the weekends. So what happens is I'm exhausted in the mornings during the week, and I 'can't' make myself get out of bed until the last minute, so I hardly ever wear make-up (not that I ever wore that much), I rarely get to eat breakfast and when I do it's something fast and greasy. I'd like to work out, but I over-heat really easily, and therefore have only been able to do it in the EARLY morning before it gets hot, and I feel like I HAVE to shower afterwards, so working out anywhere besides around my house where I can use my OWN shower is out of the question ('cause that's where my things are, and carrying them around is too much trouble.) So for a while I was getting up early and working out, but then I went to work that weekend and haven't been able to get up early enough ever since. I'd like to be thinner, but (see my previous excuses.) I'd like to eat healthier, but I dont' have time/ money/ the experience to cook the things I like. I like fresh, warm, fantastic food and that takes time and all the aforementioned things to make and take that day for lunch. I could bring a sandwich, but that got old and boring a long time ago...." I could go on forever.
Hopefully, you see my point. I've been doing this for a long time. I'm not LOOKING for excuses. I'm LOOKING for ways to get my shit together... but these excuses... are why I'm not succeeding. Well, I guess I just have to get the fuck over the excuses. I have to make myself do what I know I should do no matter how tired or broke or craving-of-ME-time, or whatever I am. It sucks. But such is life. I don't want to. I want to get enough sleep... not just because I want to, but because I know how important sleep is and how it affects sooo much (your health, your attitude, your everything.) This is going to be very difficult for me. I'm sure it's very difficult for everyone. But then, why do I appear to be the only one struggling with this? Tell me there are more people like me out there. I never thought of my self as a lazy, selfish person, but maybe I've been acting like one/ becoming on in recent years.
But doesn't one have to be just a little bit selfish at times? Isn't that healthy? Especially during these years of early adulthood when I'm trying to get on my feet? You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anything, or anyone, else. At least that's what I've believed and have been trying to live by. But maybe you can't do one first and then the other. You have to do both at once... and that's just one more thing that makes life so challenging. But, on top of all that, in my efforts, I haven't been taking care of myself. I haven't been taking care of anything, really. I've been doing "my best" to get by, and then running into excuses for why I can't take care of myself the way I'd like to: money, time, energy, on and on and on.
It's a vicious circle that I'm going to have to learn to get past if I want a happy, successful life... and I do.
"I need to get on a regular sleeping schedule, but I get up early all week and stay up late for work on the weekends. So what happens is I'm exhausted in the mornings during the week, and I 'can't' make myself get out of bed until the last minute, so I hardly ever wear make-up (not that I ever wore that much), I rarely get to eat breakfast and when I do it's something fast and greasy. I'd like to work out, but I over-heat really easily, and therefore have only been able to do it in the EARLY morning before it gets hot, and I feel like I HAVE to shower afterwards, so working out anywhere besides around my house where I can use my OWN shower is out of the question ('cause that's where my things are, and carrying them around is too much trouble.) So for a while I was getting up early and working out, but then I went to work that weekend and haven't been able to get up early enough ever since. I'd like to be thinner, but (see my previous excuses.) I'd like to eat healthier, but I dont' have time/ money/ the experience to cook the things I like. I like fresh, warm, fantastic food and that takes time and all the aforementioned things to make and take that day for lunch. I could bring a sandwich, but that got old and boring a long time ago...." I could go on forever.
Hopefully, you see my point. I've been doing this for a long time. I'm not LOOKING for excuses. I'm LOOKING for ways to get my shit together... but these excuses... are why I'm not succeeding. Well, I guess I just have to get the fuck over the excuses. I have to make myself do what I know I should do no matter how tired or broke or craving-of-ME-time, or whatever I am. It sucks. But such is life. I don't want to. I want to get enough sleep... not just because I want to, but because I know how important sleep is and how it affects sooo much (your health, your attitude, your everything.) This is going to be very difficult for me. I'm sure it's very difficult for everyone. But then, why do I appear to be the only one struggling with this? Tell me there are more people like me out there. I never thought of my self as a lazy, selfish person, but maybe I've been acting like one/ becoming on in recent years.
But doesn't one have to be just a little bit selfish at times? Isn't that healthy? Especially during these years of early adulthood when I'm trying to get on my feet? You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anything, or anyone, else. At least that's what I've believed and have been trying to live by. But maybe you can't do one first and then the other. You have to do both at once... and that's just one more thing that makes life so challenging. But, on top of all that, in my efforts, I haven't been taking care of myself. I haven't been taking care of anything, really. I've been doing "my best" to get by, and then running into excuses for why I can't take care of myself the way I'd like to: money, time, energy, on and on and on.
It's a vicious circle that I'm going to have to learn to get past if I want a happy, successful life... and I do.
