So, I finally made it! Never thought it would actually happen, but as of last Saturday, I am an Alumna of HBU with a BM in Vocal Performance. I do feel better now that I'm done; I'm freer than I've ever been in my life! Except for maybe that year I took off of school. That year, I knew I had to go back and finish school... but I still felt pretty damn free. Being in a romantic, foreign, European country without ANYONE you know there will do that to you. :) This time, I'm completely finished with school... but now that means I have to move on. But move on to what?!
HBU has a very limited number of degree options. I had to stay there because I had an amazing scholarship and it would have been foolish to pass that up. I suppose if I were smart I would have majored in Business or Mass Com. which are two of the few degrees that HBU offers that I was interested in that might get me somewhere. I was Music/ Business for a while, but instead of going back and taking Finite Math and College Algebra and whatever else, I decided to just stick with Music. I made my choices and now I have to live with them. Maybe they were the easy way out, but it sure wasn't "easy," by any means.
Now, I'm free from school, but trapped by the constant questions/ prodding/ snide comments from sooo many people in my life trying to get me to go get a "real" job. Maybe they are just trying to help, but instead, they're being just plain rude and it's pissing me off. Maybe I'm being immature or overly sensitive, but that's how I feel. Encourage me by being encouraging... not constantly asking me "what's next," or saying things like, "soo, you haven't applied at that place I told you about?" while giving me this look like I'm a fucking idiot. Believe it or not, that's NOT encouraging. It's belittling. And I've had enough. I'm never going to be able to go do something amazing if I'm being belittled all the time. How does anyone rise above that?
Somehow, I have to rise above that... because it's making it 10x harder... and it's hard enough, thank you.
You may not see it, but I AM trying. And you're not helping.
HBU has a very limited number of degree options. I had to stay there because I had an amazing scholarship and it would have been foolish to pass that up. I suppose if I were smart I would have majored in Business or Mass Com. which are two of the few degrees that HBU offers that I was interested in that might get me somewhere. I was Music/ Business for a while, but instead of going back and taking Finite Math and College Algebra and whatever else, I decided to just stick with Music. I made my choices and now I have to live with them. Maybe they were the easy way out, but it sure wasn't "easy," by any means.
Now, I'm free from school, but trapped by the constant questions/ prodding/ snide comments from sooo many people in my life trying to get me to go get a "real" job. Maybe they are just trying to help, but instead, they're being just plain rude and it's pissing me off. Maybe I'm being immature or overly sensitive, but that's how I feel. Encourage me by being encouraging... not constantly asking me "what's next," or saying things like, "soo, you haven't applied at that place I told you about?" while giving me this look like I'm a fucking idiot. Believe it or not, that's NOT encouraging. It's belittling. And I've had enough. I'm never going to be able to go do something amazing if I'm being belittled all the time. How does anyone rise above that?
Somehow, I have to rise above that... because it's making it 10x harder... and it's hard enough, thank you.
You may not see it, but I AM trying. And you're not helping.
