ch-ch-ch-changes!!!

I've been a nervous wreck pretty much all summer. Trying to decide on where/ when to move, what to do, what car to get (if I should get a car), how to do this and that, applying everywhere, changing my mind and driving myself crazy. Literally, since I graduated... yes, I felt relief that my degree was finally accomplished... I just also had a million decisions hanging over my head.

But now, I finally went through with something! I made a decision, and I bought a car. Strange how buying a car can feel so... liberating. I still have a million more decisions to make, but just having this one thing nailed down... it's like I'm suddenly... confident that I can make the right decisions for me. Like I don't have to agonize over them quite so much because deep down, I know what's best for me. I just have to follow that.

I will be moving soon. Many people in my life have their opinions about this move and whether it's smart or not. I have a great place to stay now with plenty of space and freedom. Many people have asked me "Why would you want to leave? You've got it made!" I have been very blessed with a family that loves me and has given me SOOO much. And sometimes I do feel very conflicted about leaving. I am giving up a lot. I'm giving up this security that I've pretty much always had: my home. I'm giving up being able to see my Mom, my family, and my friends in Sugar Land whenever I want. I'm giving up a steady babysitting job with an amazing family and two kids that I've been able to watch grow for the past 2 years! I'm giving up a group of co-workers that have taught me a lot and make me love my job!

It's not easy... it's incredibly difficult, actually... and yet, I'm still going through with it. And my reasons for going through with it may not make any logical sense to some of you. My reason is simply this: I need a new perspective. I've had this perspective of life for a long time, and it's been a good one, but I feel I've learned pretty much all I can from it. I've learned that the only way to ever truly understand something is to look at it from every angle. It's time for a new one. It's time to see life differently. And I can't wait.

Thanks to my sister, Keren, for encouraging me at every step and for giving me the opportunity to pull this off right now. It looks like one really, incredibly small step from mankind's perspective... but it's a giant leap for me.