I loved Europe when I was there the last time. This would be an entirely new experience, however. I have already found a family who is interested. I would be in the country in Germany taking care of a 5 year old boy helping him learn English fluently, driving him around, feeding him, helping keep house, helping his family as they move from Amsterdam to South Germany, I'd get to learn German IN GERMANY.... It all sounds very exciting!
On the other hand... I could do what I've been planning on doing and buy a car and move in with my sister. I would work at Sbux in the mornings and pick up her girls from daycare in the afternoon. I could be in my life... be "Aunt Candace." I could study German there if I want. It'd be a lot less expensive and less trouble... less risk. But what is life without risk?!!!
Au Pairing is a wonderful thing! You get to experience another country, another family, a different way of life!! It's educational and exhilarating! But it's also... kind of like taking a year off from your own life and... fitting yourself into someone else's life.
I loved the experience before... I would LOVE to do it again... but how would I feel in a year when I came back to my own life? Wouldn't it be exactly what it is now? Wouldn't I be picking it back up and trying to do exactly what I'm trying to do now, only a year later?
I hate time. If only we didn't have to make decisions like this... if only, we could choose both! I don't want to be 26 and no further along in MY OWN life than I am now... but these experiences don't come along all the time. It's a great opportunity. And maybe I would learn more than I can imagine I might learn now.
They are both exciting ways to step out on my own a little bit... and both are safety nets. One is just... more of a natural path in my life and the other is... a totally separate, alien adventure. That one is also... more expensive and risky. Who's to say which would be more enriching and fulfilling?! Only God, really. Hope he hits me over the head with what HE wants very soon.
**Trying to think of how I'll feel in 10 or 20 years... and no matter what, I think I'd still always wonder what would have happened if I'd chosen the other option. sigh... they should make pills for this.
On the other hand... I could do what I've been planning on doing and buy a car and move in with my sister. I would work at Sbux in the mornings and pick up her girls from daycare in the afternoon. I could be in my life... be "Aunt Candace." I could study German there if I want. It'd be a lot less expensive and less trouble... less risk. But what is life without risk?!!!
Au Pairing is a wonderful thing! You get to experience another country, another family, a different way of life!! It's educational and exhilarating! But it's also... kind of like taking a year off from your own life and... fitting yourself into someone else's life.
I loved the experience before... I would LOVE to do it again... but how would I feel in a year when I came back to my own life? Wouldn't it be exactly what it is now? Wouldn't I be picking it back up and trying to do exactly what I'm trying to do now, only a year later?
I hate time. If only we didn't have to make decisions like this... if only, we could choose both! I don't want to be 26 and no further along in MY OWN life than I am now... but these experiences don't come along all the time. It's a great opportunity. And maybe I would learn more than I can imagine I might learn now.
They are both exciting ways to step out on my own a little bit... and both are safety nets. One is just... more of a natural path in my life and the other is... a totally separate, alien adventure. That one is also... more expensive and risky. Who's to say which would be more enriching and fulfilling?! Only God, really. Hope he hits me over the head with what HE wants very soon.
**Trying to think of how I'll feel in 10 or 20 years... and no matter what, I think I'd still always wonder what would have happened if I'd chosen the other option. sigh... they should make pills for this.
Just my two cents: If you have the opportunity to go abroad, do it! Your life isn't at a stand-still there, it's being enriched! And, sometimes your life speeds up when you least expect it. If I hadn't taken those opportunities when I had the chance (in college and soon after), I'd be married with two kids without ever getting to travel beforehand. It's near impossible to imagine those things now with two kid in tow! It could be years before I have the time and/or money again.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Katy! I value your opinion! My life would be enriched by going there. I've decided to stay and enrich it another way, but I absolutely see where you're coming from.
DeleteIf going to Germany is what you want, which I think it is by what you've been saying, then I think if the opportunity has presented itself, I don't see what should keep you. Just don't get sold into prostitution...I watched Taken the other night, and I might come after you, but I can't fight ten guys at the same time like Liam Neeson. I have found that if a choice is not right for me, I feel like I am having to push myself to do it, like going against the grain for my psyche or something. Does going there feel that way to you? Does staying? Either way, don't worry about what you do when you come back too mch, because situations can change while you are gone, and you could figure out what you want maybe while you are there, if you make it a priority to reflect upon that. Love you- call me.
ReplyDeleteamazingly... going there kinda feels that way. I really wasn't expecting that. I guess I've been working so hard all summer on getting out on my own, I just don't want to throw that away and have to do it again next year. I want to get on with my own life. I can go to Germany on my own terms someday.
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