"grown up"

Gonna be honest, I'm on my second glass of wine, so... this post should be fun.

I've decided that I need to grow up... I know. I've been putting it off, as I'm sure y'all can understand. Being a grown-up truly sucks in many ways. I have to figure out one single thing that I'm good at and love enough to do at least 40 hours a week so I can live on my own?? Who created this system? Does anyone love any one thing that much? I don't want something I love to turn into something I'm forced to do, but c'est la vie, I guess. Is there a job where I can get paid to travel all over the world doing whatever I want? 'cause I'm pretty sure I'd rock at that!

As I search for a job I can stand and make money at... I'm going to try to truly appreciate my borrowed time here with my sister and her beautiful family. I can't, nor should I, invade on them forever... but while I'm here, I get to see 2 of my nieces every single day... and they're pretty amazing.

Now, I'm not sure I'll plan to have kids of my own, and kids definitely present many burdens... but damn... I'm learning just how worth it they are in the end. I mostly think I would just drive myself insane trying to be the best mother on the planet, and then end up screwing them up some monstrous way despite all my efforts. You know, 'cause it's pretty much impossible not to, eh? Anyway... I could go on and on about these girls, and how amazing they are... and they're not even technically mine, so living with them everyday is an extraordinary blessing.

And not only that, but I've really missed my sister. Growing up, we lived in the same room, and for crying out loud, we even shared the same queen size bed... and through it all, we've remained really close. She never tormented me like other big sisters might have done, even though I was probably just as annoying as any little sister you ever heard of. I don't know how or why, but we just mesh... without her, I don't make sense, and that's the way it will always be.

I've loved living here, but I've also been... distracted by the desire to move out and... now I'm realizing how difficult and just flat stupid that would be to do before I find a better paying job. And not just that, but what an amazing opportunity this is!! To live rent free, but also not in my hometown? No offense, Sugar Land, but you're kinda boring. I see the same people everywhere I go, and the only thing fun to do is go out to eat/ drink.. and Houston ain't much better. I need to start taking advantage of being near Austin, with it's film/theater/music/etc... if I can't find my niche here, then where the hell can I?

Anyway, I've been settling in here and whatever, but now that's over. It's time to get crackin'... so please pray for me... and here I go!